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Evil, evil, evil... (Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005)

The diary is suffering lately - since my last update, England have finally beaten Australia in the Ashes, the British Summer has come and gone, and a terrible evil has left our city. No I'm not talking about militant extremists, I'm talking about Big Brother having finished. These despicable self-centred people who have been chosen on the basis of being 'wacky' or 'different' have finally departed from our screens to crawl back into the holes in which they originally departed. It would be more acceptable television if rather than pressing the red button on your remote to vote, you could choose a housemate to send 10,000 Volts through. Be particularly fun when they are in the shower as all that water will ensure a good all round surge of electricity.

However, there are 2 things that I hate more than anything about this vile show:

1. I find myself watching it night after night by 'accident'
2. For some inexplicable reason, there is a part of me that would like to be on the show

It is this 2nd point that troubles me most. I have found myself having dreams where I am on the show, pitting my intellect and wit at these low-lifes I'm sharing the Big Brother house with. Though I am sure they put something in the water to ensure that even the sanest individuals, find themselves running around naked, dancing like their Dad, whilst complaining about the food budget as they can't afford Jammy Dodgers. I can see myself on the front of The Star newspaper: "Dull nerd Curtis bores housemates to sleep", and on page 3 close ups of my spindly legs with the headline "is this the weediest housemate ever?".

But it's over...so I can forget about it all for another year, and calm myself down. Or maybe I should start wearing my Mums clothes, dye my hair orange and join a hair salon in preparation for next years candidate interviews...

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