Just one day when something bad doesn't happen - too much to ask? (Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2006)

Apparently so. Along with the various building calamities, my Mum spent the week-end in hospital with a migraine so serious she needed a lumber puncture to check for brain damage.

And then Sunday, the iron exploded (after glowing bright blue and making a Star Wars light-saber sound), taking out our downstairs electrics.

And yesterday? Council gave us the inevitable news that our dormer window roof would have to be lowered, which means rebuilding a whole lot of our already catastrophic loft conversion.

So today...some respite surely, having sold our existing sofas a little too quickly as we got the delivery date wrong on our new ones, we've spent the last couple of weeks on garden chairs - not exactly snuggle up in front of the TV jobs. Today they turned up at 7am - nice and early, so we weren't waiting the whole day.

First sofa in - relief as we find out we still like them, delivery men unpack it and set it up for us. At last, somewhere to sit. Sofa number 2 starts it's merry way into our house, and then one of the delivery men utters the words that fill every man, woman and child with dread; "ut oh".

"Excuse me mate". Always know there's a problem when someone you've never met before calls you "mate". "Is there any other route into this house?" Instinctively, I glance inside the front room, just on the off chance some magical sofa shaped portal has appeared in our front room. After some thought, I reply "no".

"Problem is you've got low ceilings here, so we can't turn it through the doorway (so it's our fault). We'll just leave it out here on the driveway then, the plastic will make sure it's kept dry". And with that, they're off. I think I must have been stunned into silence as I don't remember replying. My wife was probably crying in the corner of the kitchen at the horror of it all, and then my lift turned up for work (because of course, I still can't drive yet thanks to my broken toe).

So until it's stolen, we have the most luxurious outside bench in the street. Not our intention, but it makes us look eccentric. Trying to find positives here, but struggling at the moment. I imagine my wife is currently on the way to B&Q to buy a power saw to cut the damn thing in half.

So...if anyone has smart ideas as to how to get an 8ft sofa through a 7ft 6" doorway, please do let us know. Heaven knows what tomorrow will bring, I'm supposed to be flying to Paris for a meeting, but something nagging at the back of my mind says I should cancel, maybe for the sake of the other 152 passengers if nothing else...

previous tale of woe - next tale of woe